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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 fri: it was be urself dae. every student got to wear wadever they felt suited their style. we had a general paper exam before the celebrations. i changed into my cheerleading clothes for the performance. it was funnn. after that i went town to meet cheryl baby. we were bored and went around hunting for pretty girls and bungs! joanne came to join us at 7 plus and we went ps. had pastamania for dinner and we ate so much. we even took neos after that! aiyerrr. sadly cindy xiaomei wasnt here. =((
sat: i was sneezing the whole dae.! couldnt concentrate working as well. my poor yiqin baby was sick so she went home early to rest. after work i went shopping wif gwen and yufeng. den went to meet rephyrx. we were at ps den i got a msg frm kai. somehow i just got a bad feeling abt it. and yes i was rite. she wanted to break up. coincidentally, the same thing happened to rephyrx on the same dae. i felt so sad. sat down and started crying so much. sigh. everything just seemed to happen too sudden. i cant accept it but i have to. i knew somehow she'll want to break up wif me but i wasnt ready for it just yet. do u know i was looking so much forward to celebrate our very first valentine's dae together? sigh. no one understands how i actually feel. not even her. im disappointed. disappointed that our r/s was not as strong as i thot and believed it was. this pain's killing me. i didnt felt liek going home on that dae. called sky up. he wanted to take a cab down to find me but he got to settle some impt gang stuff so he got suling to call me. he was really worried abt me and he kept calling me. weijie took a cab down to meeet me and he got kokhwa along wif him too. we sat there till abt 2.30am den i took a cab home. after i got home and took a shower.. i went downstairs to chill and think abt all that has happened. went back when it was near 4. i thot i was alrite already. but no. i cried myself to sleep. i still haven gotten over the fact we broke up.
sun: went over to rephyrx's house todae.. her dog's super cute man. anyway we had quite a lot of fun and i went home at 8 plus. i sat at my house downstairs for a while. somehow im still upset and started to cry. i just needed to go of that tears i've been holding on to for hours. sighh. i dun believe she can just let go.
mon: was supposed to be in school by 8 but i couldnt get up in the morning. so i was late for the econs lecture. shit larh. i stepped into the lecture theatre and everyone was looking at me. damn paiseh larh. after lessons.. i stayed back to do some project work. fanghui ask me if i was okie cos i looked really lost and i just broke down. fuckit. i've been trying to look and make myself happy and i broke down?!?! after that i went town to meet my momo darling! we went shopping! i've been spending so much recently man. but oh wells, shoppping makes me happy and i want to be happy. we were at ps waiting for my ade darling and i met joven there too. we went pastamania for dinner. yumms. after that we went to take neos neos neos! yay. so fun. we went home after that. i saw her online. but she didnt talk to me so i plucked up enuff courage to say hi. i asked her if she broke up wif me issit cos she lost feelings.. she said she feels diff people have diff ways of handling things and im not the kind she looking for. in short. it means im not the rite one for her. fuck. im so hurt. jonovan called me last nite to talk. was talking alrite wif her at first and den i broke down. cried really hard. jonovan thinks im emotionally unstable now. everyone's thinking the same way too. sigh. maybe im really liek that for now. i've been trying really hard to be back to the old me. but it's hard. i miss the way you used to sms me everymornng and nite. i miss the way u cared for me. i miss you. promises will alwaes be broken so i dun believe in that anymore. this is so painful. anyway i was on the fone wif jasper and candice before i went to slp..
